She was worried to admit to she’s shy.
Worried that even though she was stuck in a rut bigger in the Grand Canyon, nobody would help her dig out of the hole she created for herself. When someone like her takes and non-traditional path empowerment for some crazy reason, it makes the desire to vividly share different is and perspectives taboo topic.
But if you take a closer peak under the vibrant first impression, you might see the subtle differences and why you always remember her.
Her humor is used as a shield to divert attention away from how anxious social situations make her feel.
Her drag is flawless at masking the darkness of the rut she’s made for herself. She has perfected this master disguise over them to avoid being honest about her vulnerability.
But more importantly, she calls to herself of photojournalist because empowering the story of others, especially one where children are involved help her to feel like a guardian.
A visual guardian of their story.
So families, children and people of all different love backgrounds can relate. They can step in mind ease that something in one of her photos will remind them always that even though the unconditional out to be who you are is a taboo, the topic here’s a picture to serve as a reminder for you.
Because vulnerability doesn’t follow a traditional pattern.
The narrative it creates allows for natural, organic and real connections to happen.
Unforced, unplanned and unposed.
It’s emotionally exhausting, this deep work to understanding who she is, but she didn’t give up. She took her time to learn how to use this unconditional mindset to teach others how to reflect on why the struggle is worth the journey and visual narratives don’t need perfection anyway.
If she had her way, the art of taking pictures or sharing photos in this always-on, flashing bright life connected world would not be forced. Intuitively observing candid moments and expressions that aren’t apparent to others with great certainty. That by freezing this moment, she has created the best reflection that she can and to help them illustrate a person’s true character.
With great certainty, she knows that unplanned connection goes deep below the social mask on a feeling level giving pictures and images a pulse that beats long after the moment has passed. A reflection that this person, in front of her lens, has natural impulses feelings that like hers are sometimes awkward and she must respond by documenting them honestly.
The art of unposed moments is knowing when to step back, put the camera down and give someone time to figure out what feels natural for their story, not check an item off her portfolio bucket list. This girl taught herself how to use a clunky camera as a way to reach into imaginations. A way to create images that spark questions and helps build illustrate a family story.
When she reflects back and says to herself, “Damn it, I failed! I’m failure personified. Who the f*ck wants to hear what I have to say?!?!?! NOBODY!” She must remind herself and others who are afraid of looking foolish in front of others that your permission to fail must constantly be renewed.
In a time when visual pictures and images dominate the conversation we have with ourselves, our children and the family that we love we must redefine what failure looks like in our story.
With every new picture she makes and creates for others, she must revive her permission to herself to not try for perfect.
Because while she believes that perfect doesn’t exist, she understands that perfection is topic that’s just as taboo as taking an untraditional route to uncovering who you are and how the world sees you.
Her permission in to fail is a choice to become part of the change she longs to see in the world. A passion to take pictures with childlike wonder with wisdom from past failures.
She is me.
And I am glad I have a better understanding of why I make art the way I do.
Who can relate?