Mother’s Day is supposed to be about celebrating the wonderful things your mother has done for you over the years and how her wisdom and guidance has strengthened you for it.
Nowadays, it’s common for everyone to gush and swoon all over social media about all the seventh courage and memories that signifies I couldn’t have made it without great grandmothers, grandmothers, our mothers…
Basically, if you and I had just won an Oscar for Best Actress in Social Media Reality for playing the role of “Mother” in their Family Documentary Photo and Videos, this might be the speech one might write or at least borrow bits to create a humbling nod to who’s most important to the people that shaped your individual personality.
And not to be outdone, if you have children are old enough to have a Facebook or Instagram account like I do, well then, they might even brag about how cool you are to their seemingly endless friends and followers list.
Today I can’t help but think about the mothers out there in social screen land like myself who are motherless.
The women and nonbinary parents who’ve become disconnected and whoever they name as being the person who influenced them to be who they are today are missing from their life for another.
Are we supposed to forget the tender wound that still aches with pain?
Are you supposed to look past the anger that they aren’t present to help you navigate through challenges and changes as a parent?
Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t have this resentment that someone you loved with your whole heart is no longer in my life because she let the truth of how long she’d been suffering from pancreatic cancer be a secret that she’d take with her to her grave only gave me two weeks to get my emotions in order?
Who out there in social screen land is making a conscious choice to celebrate the shitty parts of motherhood inside this human dramedy experience?
ME! I volunteer as tribute!
Why is that you ask?
Well, see what had happened was, last year I ruined (well TBH this perspective is mine not the one from the three children pictured above) the warm and fuzzy sentiment surrounding mother’s day for my kids because I finally had it with being mentally forced to continue lying to them about the change in their moms relation status from “happily” married to bitterly “uncoupling”.
Their story would be so crazy that Lifetime wouldn’t even write this script. The pressure of having to pretend to be perfect to spare them the disappointment that soon their entire world would become like nothing they’ve ever known.
So after a lovely morning of brunching at one of my favourite spots in Fort Worth, Brewed with my boys, went home and this little tea pot went home and struggled with what’s the right thing to do…
Tell them the truth or continue to lie?
And I’m not sure what time it was nor can I recall the events that led up to me experiencing what I now know is called an anger blackout but I can remember that I realised that if I didn’t have these three knuckleheads in my life, I’d have no reason to celebrate mother’s day at all.
So I called everyone into the living room and expressed through my rage and tears “Since today is my day, I might as well be the person to ruin this day for you, Dad and I are getting divorced.”
I’m sure there will be a bunch of people who’ll roast me for it but honestly I’m over putting a rose-coloured filter on the stories I document and share about my family life in social screen land.
BYEEEEE AS ALLL F%*K.
But, to any of those moms’s out there who are hiding their genuine emotions in plain sight with sentimental posts and recollections of whom ever played the mother figure in your life…
If for ANY reason you feel kinda meh about Mother’s Day.
Reschedule it to a day that doesn’t stir up fear, worry and anxiety about missing a loved one.
Reschedule it to a day that you don’t have to fake your way through the pomp and circumstance.
So go ahead friend, please steal this idea out of my imperfect parenting playbook…
Reschedule Mother’s Day.
Change your mother’s day to help show your children that sometimes unconditional love isn’t always greeting card worthy.
Change it up and make mother’s day worth celebrating on a day that means something meaningful to you.